In a slump.

So lately I have found it very difficult to focus. It's hard for me to get much done, and I can feel the angst continually growing as time goes by. I feel increasingly detached.

It was really fucking hot today and is supposed to be hotter tomorrow. It remains super fucking warn in my apartment, and anyone who knows me, knows that I can't stand hot weather. I'm pretty sure the pigs are miserable also.

I have been feeling particularly frustrated tonight, because of the combined lack of focus and lack of cool weather. I thought to myself, "how do I normally deal with hot weather situations ?". Then I realized that i would normally do it in the same way I would deal with any other frustrating situation ..... I would go for a drive!

Driving my Z would always calm me down and give me a chance to cool down and clear my mind. There really is nothing quite like driving a super low, super stiff sports car with the top off on an empty freeway in a hot night. Damn that sounds good .. But alas, I gave up my car back in February to save money. Little did I realize that it would have a much greater impact on my life and behaviour than I could have imagened.

I really miss being able to drive around and escape all my problems. But now my car isn't even registered, so there is no chance of that for the time being.

I really think that an occasional drive would really bring me out of this slump, but I accept no substitutes.

Fuck. I feel lost without my Z.